My sister is cheating and I want to tell her husband – people think I’m jealous and I’m not but I think he’s perfect

NO ONE ever wants to find themselves in the unenviable position of covering for a cheating sibling, but that’s exactly the dilemma Aurelie faces.

She recently discovered that her sister cheated on her brother-in-law and now he doesn’t know what steps take following.

Sister thought she could confide in her brother and sister about her betrayal, but it would go horribly wrongCredit: Getty

In her search for guidance, a woman who decided to stay anonymousturned to the Internet forum Mumnet seek advice from other parents.

She asked another user if she was “stupid” to tell her brother-in-law that “my sister is cheating” even though the sister had confided in her.

in detailed post, Oreli wrote: “I’ve been reading this forum for months and now I need some advice.

“My sister and I are very close and always have been.

READ MORE ABOUT MODERATE AFFAIRS

“She is perfect, has a perfect house, perfect children and a perfect husband.

“After my marriage ended, I moved in with her, and since he works night shifts, I spent a lot of time with him and the kids during the day.”

The sister then explained how her sister confessed to her about cheating on her husband.

Aurelie continued: “About two weeks ago she told me that she had been seeing a man for about a month and was thinking about leaving him, but wanted to spend some time with another man just to be sure.

“I’m so shocked! I can’t believe her. She has a perfect husband who loves her and does everything for her.

“I’m close to him and I can’t look him in the eye right now, especially since he’s constantly talking about her.

I had a crazy “emotional affair” with a married man – I wanted him desperately, but it ended VERY sadly

“I want to tell him because he doesn’t deserve it. But at the same time, I don’t want to lose my sister. She trusts me. What would you do?”

The post attracted a lot of attention, with 79 per cent of Mumsnet users downvoting her and saying she was being unreasonable.

Others rushed to the comments section to share their thoughts.

One wrote: “Stay away from this. She is your sister and always will be.

I’m sorry my sister is ruining her life because of a short affair

Anonymous sister

“You may regret it for the rest of your life if you open your mouth.”

Another added: “Well, maybe he’s not that perfect?

“Not your marriage. Stay away from this because it is a way to save your relationship with both of them.

“If you tell him and they break up, she’ll never forget it.

Four red flags that your partner is cheating

Private investigator Aaron Bond of BondRees has identified four signs that your partner may be cheating.

They start taking the phone with them everywhere

In a close relationship, it’s normal to know each other’s passwords and use each other’s phones; if their calling habits change, they may be hiding something.

Aaron says, “If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone with them everywhere, even around the house, or gets defensive when you ask to use their phone, it could be a sign they’re being unfaithful.”

“You should also look at how they put their phone away when they’re not using it. If they’re looking at the phone with the screen down, maybe they’re hiding something.”

They start telling you less about their day

When partners cheat, they begin to avoid you, this may be due to guilt or because it is easier for them to lie to you.

“If you feel like your partner has suddenly started avoiding you and doesn’t want to do anything with you anymore or stops telling you about their day, that’s another red flag.”

“Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be difficult, it’s impossible to remember all your lies, and it’s an easy way to get caught,” says Aaron.

Their libido changes

Your partner’s libido can fluctuate for a variety of reasons, so it may not be a surefire sign of cheating, but Aaron says it can be a red flag.

Aaron says, “Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but sometimes they may also have more sex at home because they feel guilty and use this increased sex to cover up their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start introducing new things to your sex life that weren’t there before.”

They become negative towards you

Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and they will feel good about it, it can cause tension and anxiety within them that they will have to justify.

“To get rid of the tension they feel inside, they will try to convince themselves that the problem is with you, and they will start criticizing you out of nowhere. Maybe you didn’t walk the dog, clean the dishes, or read Book your kids at bedtime that day, a little problem like this can now seem like a big problem, and if you face it, your partner could be cheating,” warns Aaron.

“If you tell him, and they will save relations no one will want you, you will be too much of a reminder.

“Put your nose out, avoid the drama, wait and see.”

A third said: “You seem jealous of her. It sounds like you have a crush on her dh (dear husband) too. Don’t say anything and find another place to live.”

The sister felt that she needed to justify herself, so after these comments, she added her feelings to the thread.

She said: “I don’t feel any attraction towards him. I’m just worried and sorry that my sister is ruining her life because of a short affair.”

Get support from Dear Deidre

Welcome to Dear Deidre, your outlet for sound, unbiased advice and practical support.

Led by relationship expert Sally Land, our team of qualified counselors are ready to help with any dilemma, big or small.

From dating difficulties to family breakdowns, we provide private, personal and ongoing help.

Why choose Deidre Road?

Expert advice: Each inquiry is answered personally by a qualified consultant.
Timely response: We aim to respond within one business day.
Full privacy: Your concerns remain private unless you choose to share them.
Free service: Our support is provided to you free of charge.

How to get to us:

E-mail: Email [email protected]
Social networks: DM us on Instagram @dear.deidre, Facebook @DearDeidre or X @DearDeidre
Post: Dear Deidre, The Sun, 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF
Online form: Visit our Dear Deidre page for some quick advice.

Join thousands of people who trust Dear Deidre for insightful, compassionate support. Contact us today!