Mom is upset: her 29-year-old husband has a 19-year-old girlfriend on the run

Except for those who miraculously never get jealous (a clue to your confidence), it’s not uncommon for people in relationships to feel jealous over their partner’s new and attractive friends. Jealousy permeates most monogamous relationships, which is why it’s so important to be honest about your concerns and worries with your partner whenever these feelings arise.

Now, not every girlfriend of a man will be a risk to his marriage, as there are faithful men who value their wives. However, the details of this story seemed to suggest otherwise, based on one man’s questionable reaction to his wife’s jealousy.

A wife took to Reddit to question whether she was wrong to demand her husband cut off her new “running buddy,” who happened to be a 19-year-old college student.

in AITA postThe 28-year-old wife explained that she and her 29-year-old husband have been “happy” for four years and have a daughter together. Her husband often does 90-minute runs on the track, and he recently befriended a 19-year-old runner, a student-athlete. He enlisted her as his new running partner, and they run together three times a week.

The wife described how her husband waited to tell her about his new running buddy, adding that they even chatted and ate together afterwards. She explained that her husband is a former athlete, so at first she did not pay too much attention to his connection with the girl. But a few weeks later, after seeing a photo of a “beautiful” woman, she began to question whether she should be worried.

about wife looking at husband smiling on phone on couch at home dimaberlinphotos | Canva Pro

“I started to feel that this was inappropriate and wanted him to spend this time with me and our family,” the mom wrote in her post. “I told him that and asked him to stop her, but he told me to relax. We quarreled, and he called me insecure.”

For her own peace of mind, the mother proposed a compromise: she and her daughter would visit the track and watch her and the woman run from the stands, and then she would get a chance to meet the woman in person. However, he refused, claiming that it would only be awkward and would let his friend know that he his wife does not trust him.

His mother called him immature for “trying to relive his youth” with a young, attractive woman. She reminded him that he was responsible for their daughter, who would like to spend more time with him, but he was reluctant to break up his new friendship with a college student.

His lack of validation made the wife feel wrong about her jealousy, but many women claimed they would have felt the same way.

While there is nothing particularly wrong with a man choosing a running partner, even an attractive one who is 10 years his junior, his reaction to his wife’s concerns seems to be a problem.

Reddit users agreed that the wife feels discomfort in the friendship of the husband. “Something is wrong here. He cares more about what his new little friend thinks of him than what you think of him and it’s…alarming,” someone commented on the post.

“He’s more worried about her thinking you don’t trust him than the fact that… you actually don’t trust him.”

“When he puts another woman’s feelings and opinions ahead of his wife’s feelings and opinions, there’s a problem,” someone else pointed out.

Others argued that the man should not have agreed to a running arrangement with an attractive young adult who had just graduated from high school.

They argued that while it’s harmless for someone in a relationship to spend time with a group of friends, on the other hand, weekly one-on-one activities are a “recipe for disaster.”

“If a guy who’s hot and right up my alley wanted to start working out together (which in itself can bring us closer), I’d just say no. This is a show of respect for my husband,” said one woman.

“I value my relationships and never want to even allow a situation where I have feelings for someone. It’s not a difficult choice for me because my partner is so wonderful.”

Trust and communication are the foundation of a successful marriage.

Married couples can have friendship with other people outside of their relationship. Many healthy marriages take priority friendship with others (yes, even of the opposite sex) as long as they respect boundaries and are intentional about that friendship.

It is very important for them to stay open with their man and make sure that their feelings are their top priority no matter what.

As one married man pointed out in the comments, age and gender differences are not automatic problems for married friendships. Rather, it’s how they feel about friendship that matters.

“I (35m) am developing a friendship with a colleague of 32f. It was no accident that I forgot to say that the new person was a woman, and I tell my wife any remarkable conversations and stories with her participation,” the man shared. “We have pending plans for the three of us to get together for lunch when schedules work out.”

He added that things would probably be different if his friend was a man, but he wants to be fair and respect his wife’s feelings, and his friend understands that too.

The wife may have nothing to worry about, but she may need to pay attention to the husband’s lack of openness to help her trust him more.

Francesca Duarte is a writer for YourTango, a news and entertainment group based in Orlando, Florida. She talks about lifestyle, human interests, adventure and spirituality.