I cheat on married men and feel rejected when they go back to their wives

DEAR DEIDRE: I liven up my boring married life by having affairs with a couple of hot men.

Unfortunately, they are both with their wives and sometimes I find it very difficult to control my jealousy of their marriages.

I am 36. I have been married for 12 years and we have two small children.

I met my husband while recovering from an abusive ex.

At first, his easy-going nature was a welcome relief. Now it bores me to tears.

We only have sex if I initiate it. He does the same moves every time, like a guy from the nineties on a reunion tour.

Frustrated, I began flirting with a man in my local garage.

He claimed that his wife had a low sex drive, so I sent him naughty pictures showing how passionate a real woman can be.

He loved them, but after booking a hotel night for us several times, I feel like he’s cheating on me.

The last time he said he couldn’t come because it was his wife’s birthday.

It hurt, so I joined a website for married people who want no strings attached sex.

Soon I was talking to a man who was exactly my type, with tattoos and a beard.

We exchanged numbers and started sending each other nude photos and candid voice notes.

But when I found his social media, I found him liking and commenting on his wife’s posts every day, sending her heart emojis.

They always seem to be out for romantic dinners and even wore a matching couple costume for Halloween. What is wrong with me?

Why was I just never good enough to be number one?

DEIDRE SAYS: You chase attention from all corners, but ignore those who love you the most.

Stop chasing men who only want sex, and talk to the man in front of you. The one you are married to.

Tell him honestly what you need – in bed and out of it. Together you can build a safe, sexual marriage, but you have to open up to him first.

You can shake things up in the bedroom with your husband.

Start sending him sexy messages, then why not plan a night together?

You have been in an abusive relationship that hurts your self-esteem.

Getting the attention of these men may have made you feel better in the short term, but in reality, these things will just erode your confidence even more.

My Raising Self-esteem support package explains more.

Do the right thing. Stop the affairs and work on your marriage so you can feel good about your future.

My How to Take Care of Your Relationship Support Package will give you clear ideas on how to get started.