My sister says I should be her therapist for free

Dear Abby! My sister, whom I love very much, is going through a difficult time. She tells me about her problems, and I am happy to listen and give advice. While I am willing to listen and help, I feel she would really benefit from seeing a therapist to help her work through some of the issues. I also know that she makes her own decisions and I don’t want my point of view to come between us when I say something she might not agree with.

How can I recommend that she get professional help without making it sound like I’m pushing her away and not wanting to share her feelings with me? When I mentioned therapy a few years ago, she said I should be her therapist. I told her that was nice, but therapists have unique skills that I don’t have.

My sister is on a very limited income and I don’t know how much it will cost because of her insurance. She feels the therapy is “good” but has never done it. She often says she can deal with these issues on her own, and I suspect she would resist counseling because that would feel like giving up. Advice? — Helpful sister in Colorado

Dear sister! Tell your sister that you love her, but you’d like her to discuss her issues with a licensed psychotherapist because she hasn’t made any progress in the years she’s been confiding in you. This is true. Point her in the direction of her insurance company, as they can provide her with a list of approved therapists. If this is not available, inexpensive counseling can be obtained from a local mental health department or from a college or university with a psychology department.

Dear Abby! My youngest daughter is getting married in three months. I am 69 years old and have been a widower for six years. I was dating the widow “Rose” who was a school friend of mine who I bumped into at church while she was in town looking after her mother after our spouses passed away. She is well received by my family and friends.

Rosa is worried about her role in the wedding. I discussed this with her and pointed out that her role was to be a guest of the wedding couple as well as my date for the evening. I believe that this is the appropriate and correct way to deal with this situation. Any additional comments or suggestions you may have would be appreciated. — Father of the bride in Michigan

Dear Father: From your question, I understand that your girlfriend may be pressuring you to attend the wedding. She may be well received by the family, but if your youngest daughter and her fiance wanted Rose to be more than just a welcome guest, they would have invited her to the wedding party. Tell Rose that she is your date and her role is to visit, have a good time with you, and keep the couple happy.

Abby’s Road was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or at PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.