Child rearing a complex proposition – Macomb Daily

By Larry Gore Jr.

Guest Column

In today’s modern society, with hate crimes originating from vicious acts of racism, and consistent intimidation in schools that are vividly being shown on television and social media, individuals may be curious as to how one was raised and how they were disciplined for their actions growing up as there are different disciplinary measures for other cultures.

For example, many African American families are known for incorporating open-hand slaps, belts, switches, or anything the mother or father could find to get their child in line. It all aims to ensure the child understands the lesson, but some parents push it entirely too far. Today, what some parents say is reproof the law defines it as abuse, but exactly what constitutes abuse? Physical abuse is just one way it is shown, and it should be done out of tough love and not to incite harm.

Many experts have gone as far as doing psychological analysis on children who were either abused or abandoned and it usually started with their parents who went through similar upbringings. Some children could be talked to, and the dialogue between parents and children resonates within their conscience to gear towards a change while others need a stricter approach. Condescending assertions, lessening the child’s self-esteem, and turning them on to adult life well before their teens are some of the earmarks of imprudent nurturing. Introducing children to their sexual orientation in their adolescent years also symbolizes misdirection no matter what color, creed, or gender they are.

Turning a blind eye to a child’s innocence is also cause for alarm because the child should be allowed to make that choice for themselves when they reach adulthood and not have someone else’s opinion dictate their lives because again, no child should be harping over sex while still in school.

There is good and bad in every scenario — either the parent will correct their child/children accordingly, or the law will step in and reprimand them when they become of age because the child was steered off course and never grasped the fundamentals of right and wrong . Other cultures may allow their children a certain level of autonomy and preferential privileges to spare their feelings and not invade their space to ruin their morale while others are inclined to apply the “time out” method that proved throughout time not to be as effective.

Children should be mindful of the lines that are not to be crossed — they are to be seen and not heard and should not be contemporaries with their parents, which is the basis of most trouble that comes into play. Not to impose or to assume what goes on in the privacy of people’s homes as television promptly illustrated over the years, but a good old-fashioned spanking would put a child in their rightful place.

Unfortunately, in urban America, there are many single-parent households, and the mother or father is forced to play both roles. As a result, in some cases, their sons will most likely live a life of crime, becoming absentee fathers with numerous offspring and their daughters will repeat the acts of the mother, rearing children with various men. While walking the fine line between chastisement and abuse, a parent should know the difference between the two, and not all bad actions by the child deserve disciplinary action.

Furthermore, it is also written in the Holy Bible that he who spares the rod despises his son, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. God Himself chastises His children out of pure love, usually by convicting the conscience, but He also encourages us in His word to implement correction upon our children. One must also think about the act of reprimanding a child to keep them from the inevitable dangers of the world and to teach them to follow instructions as opposed to having to go through harsh experiences in life.

Larry Gore is a Macomb County resident and author.