7 signs that a man has healthy masculinity and will become a great man Orna and Matthew Walters

Male energy in a relationship probably looks different than you’d expect—the part that’s goal-oriented, persistent, and action-oriented. Focused more on doing than being.

Most people use their masculine energy when working and achieving goals. It’s not about how physically strong or stoic someone is; it’s more about how they carry themselves.

What does healthy male energy look like in a relationship? Healthy masculinity is about respect and honesty. The trunk anchors the tree to the ground, allowing the leaves to dance in the wind.

Masculinity is often misunderstood and shamed because of unhealthy or toxic manifestations of male energy—focused on power and control. It wants to have power over others. Healthy masculine energy focuses on developing inner strength and power and control over oneself rather than others.

Here are 7 signs of a healthy manhood that show he will make a great husband:

1. He is comfortable feeling vulnerable

It takes real strength and confidence to show someone your true feelings. Healthy masculinity embraces authentic expression and knows that vulnerability comes from inner strength.

Your husband should be able to open his heart to you and reveal his inner thoughts and feelings. He knows that showing his emotional weakness does not make him weak. Instead, it creates a deeper connection and trust in the relationship.

Research published in 2013 show that being able to express your feelings helps reduce their impact and overcome them faster, so look for a man who is in touch with his emotional life and can open up to you. He may not always be fluent in language or keep his emotions on his sleeve, but he will be able to tell you how he feels when it matters.

2. He is a prisoner

man and woman together in a night club Volodymyr Ogonek | Shutterstock

A man who is comfortable in his own skin and knows who he is will inspire you to feel grounded and secure. Imagine that the masculine principle is the trunk of a tree, and the feminine principle is the smaller branches, leaves and flowers. A strong trunk supports the branches and leaves to dance in the wind and nourishes the flowers to bloom.

Grounded masculine energy gives you space to fully express your femininity. He supports your emotional side and doesn’t feel threatened by your passion and intensity. He appreciates the way you soften him and connect him to your feelings.

This can best be expressed by watching two ballroom dancers. The male supports the female in the dance. He leads and holds the female as she twists and turns beautifully around him.

This dance of male and female energy in a relationship allows both partners to express their strengths and be in harmony with each other.

3. He provides for you and makes you happy

A man who is comfortable in his masculinity knows that his happiness comes from making you happy. He wants to provide what you need to thrive.

According to research from Psychology today, a man’s sense of identity is closely related to his ability to support a family. This does not mean that he should be the breadwinner or the only financial means. It can provide through its ability to take care of things you don’t want to or can’t do. He can provide emotional support and encourage you in further career development.

As long as he knows that his support brings you joy, he will be willing to give you what you need, respect your requests, and work to meet your needs. His strength lies in his ability to please you and create an environment where you feel safe and cared for.

That doesn’t mean you can’t succeed on your own. A man who is confident in his masculinity will not feel threatened by a woman who is more successful than him. He will want to support you in creating your dreams with you.

4. He personifies integrity

Do his words match his actions? Does he take responsibility when he makes a mistake? Can he apologize when necessary?

These traits come from a man who lives with integrity and is comfortable with his masculinity. He is not afraid to be imperfect and show you his flaws.

Integrity is vital to living with healthy courage. It takes inner strength and confidence to live up to your values and beliefs. A person who is constantly influenced by others is not based on his truth.

Defensiveness and shifting blame are qualities a person who is not sure of himself. Honesty requires responsibility for one’s actions. No one is perfect, but everyone can correct their mistakes and apologize for things that don’t meet their standards.

5. He guides, but is not rigid

Handsome man taking self portrait indoors at home David Angelini | Shutterstock

When a man takes charge in a relationship, he knows what he wants and is willing to act to get it. He will invite you to a meeting in advance. He wants to stake a claim, take you out of the market and ask for exclusivity. However, this does not mean that he is so purposeful in his actions that he cannot react and change course when he receives feedback.

Toxic masculinity sees things only one way, its own way. A healthy masculinity can adjust and change course when necessary.

Is he trying to bulldoze you down or overwhelm you with his love? Or is he interested to know what you are after? Look for a man who knows what he wants and is flexible. Ideally, you each build on each other’s strengths to create a strong bond.

6. He asks for and accepts help.

A man who expresses healthy masculine energy knows that he doesn’t always have the answer. He is ready to accept help and may even actively seek help. He knows that there is more strength in a team than alone.

Your husband may struggle and strive to solve their own problemsbut he will also know when he cannot do it himself. He won’t be afraid to ask for help, and he won’t be afraid to be seen as weak when he asks for help, because he knows it takes real strength to admit he needs help.

Can your spouse ask for your opinion or help? Does he have mentors or friends he can rely on? Did he read the instructions before trying to assemble the furniture you bought at Ikea? A man who can ask for help is self-confident and ready to admit what he doesn’t know.

7. He is not obsessed with being right.

young stylish hipster couple in love Maria Markevich | Shutterstock

The need to be right is an unhealthy masculine trait, but the desire to be right is an example of healthy masculine energy. Whether he’s trying to please you, working to express his feelings, or achieving a purpose in his life, a man who is comfortable in his masculinity wants to get it right. He also knows that he is not always right.

A man who is comfortable in his masculinity is willing and able to give credit where credit is due, rather than obsessing over taking all the credit. He will try to fix things and is willing to admit when he is wrong.

Look for these examples of healthy masculine energy when you’re dating. Encourage your husband to move into his masculine side by relaxing into your feminine power. Ultimately, you’ll find that you’re happier, more relaxed in your relationship, and able to trust the man you’re with.

Orna and Matthew Walters meet with trainers, founders Making love on purpose which takes a holistic approach to turning hidden blocks into love, and the authors This time everything is right.