Ruby Rare soothes her breakup blues on the dance floor

Tuesday

I’m in London for the rest of the week and see this as an opportunity to download Feel again. Dating apps it is much more interesting to use in big cities; in the small seaside town I call home, I mostly go through people I already know. It’s fascinating and ridiculously amazing how many hot people live in the area of ​​London where I’m staying. I start chatting with a few pretty beauties, mostly women non-binary friends, and set up some dates for later in the week, including what might be the worst first date on Sunday (more on that later).

Wednesday

I slept terribly last night thinking about it gap and it sent me into a dark downward spiral. I try to get the most essential work done all day and when the work is done I call my sibling and best friend Maya for a much needed pep talk. They remind me that things are never linear after the breakupthat it’s okay to be sad today, but tomorrow will be a new day. When we talk on the phone, I cry profusely, and at the end of the day I feel better for having sat with my emotions.

Thursday

I start the day still feeling a little tender, but I’m rocking my Slaggy Ruby playlist (which is 90% Shygirl, Charli XCX, and Chappel Roan) when I get ready and when I walk out the door I stomp down the street feeling great. Tonight is the first real date of the week: drinks at a cozy bar with D, the art teacher. We’ve been exchanging witty texts back and forth, so I’m really hopeful, but personally, I’m not sexually attracted. Regardless, she’s very sweet and we have a fun evening together, sipping cocktails, swapping our best curry recipes and debating whether or not to wear leather in the summer. (Pros: looking cool. Cons: becoming the sweatiest person in the world.) We end the night with hugs like friends.

Friday

I meet K., a musician and chef, in one of my favorite pubs. We’re sitting outside in the beer garden under an awning, and when it starts to rain, neither of us can think of a word to describe the delicious smell of rain hitting the ground (it’s petrichor, if you’re wondering). There are things flirtatious slowly, defiantly, and after a few drinks, they invite me back to their place, where we hang out and dry on the couch like excited teenagers for a full 90 minutes. I want to go further but they want to wait and we dine on this exquisite sexual tension for the rest of the evening. When I finally get home, my whole body is shaking with excitement. What a divine sighting, I really hope this isn’t the last I see of them.

Saturday

I’m still reeling from last night, and I’m taking it easy on Saturday (and, I’m not going to lie, I’m going to spend a few hours daydreaming about a fantastic future life with K; my post-date brain is messed up and I fragmentation harder than I expected). My bank account is crying out for a vacation too, I forgot how many recurring expenses there are when you acquaintance! I go for a walk, make a beetroot curry inspired by a conversation with D and watch a movie. As much as I enjoy the company of others, I can’t lie, I damn well enjoy spending time alone. With so much of the week spent on apps and meeting new people, a wholesome solo day was just what I needed to reset.

Sunday

I saved the wildest date to end the week. A and I meet in a pub and immediately start chatting. She is incredibly beautiful and I can tell I like her because I try to be humble but I can’t help but be a giddy fool from the moment we start chatting. After a quick drink we head to Joyride, a weird rave sex party. I haven’t been in a space like this in years, and it’s like stepping into Wonderland—if Wonderland was full of hot people in trouble—and fetish clothes to fuck I’ll admit it was a risky strategy to go back into these sexual spaces with someone I’d never met, but we both planned to go anyway, and oh my god it paid off. We peek into the playroom but are too nervous to go in and instead spend hours on the dance floor melting into each other. In a more traditional club, I’d be wary as it’s not always safe for two women to hang out, and it’s refreshing not to have the creepy male eye on you; we can really relax in the moment. At the end of the night we stop for chips and take the bus home together. It was only supposed to be one night—she’s coming back to Canada in a couple of days—but that doesn’t stop our time together from being intimate, caring, and very, very hot.

I’m starting the next week misty-eyed and dizzy, but with the biggest smile on my face. K and I have been chatting since we met and will be hanging out again soon. Eck! I met some really great people this week and still found time to be alone and relax when needed. I am excited for the adventures that the next few months will bring.

The Non-Monogamy Playbook by Ruby Rare out on Penguin January 30, 2025