I put a tracker on my teenagers’ phones. This is more for security reasons than lack of trust.

• I grew up in the 90s and didn’t have a cell phone for my parents to track where I was.

• Now I’m a mom of two teenagers and I track their location on their phone.

• They both agreed to it, and it’s more of a defense than a lack of trust

My teenage years were full of wild, offline adventures with my peers from dawn to midnight. It was the 90sand I didn’t have a cell phone, so once I left, I was “out of sight, out of mind” and my mom became completely clueless about my shenanigans. All she could do was pray for my well-being and trust that I was honest about where I was going.

Fast forward to today: I am a mother of two teenagers and our entire family works tracking app where we can see each other’s location at any time. At a glance, I can see exactly where my teens are (or at least where their phones are), how fast they were driving to get there, and what time they arrived at or left their destination.

While I find that this program alleviates some of the anxiety I feel as a parent of teenagers testing their wings in the world, I also feel bad that my children don’t experience the same freedom and liberation that I enjoyed during my youth. If my mom had an app to track me when I was growing up, I wouldn’t have felt so carefree to travel the world on my own accord.

They agreed to the surveillance

These are conflicting emotions that I have to navigate as a modern parent, but I think it all comes down to good, old-fashioned mutual trust with my family. The key to making this dynamic work for us is that we all agree to be tracked—not just us watching our kids. They always know where we are and can also open the app and view our locations.

When we first installed the programI admit to checking it far too often and watching my teenagers’ entire car journeys from point A to point B. Now I check the app sporadically and mainly for logistical reasons, I want to get an approximate travel time so I know when I need to wait for them at home for dinner. I’ll also get a text from my kids with a list of items they want when they see me make a spontaneous stop at the store — it goes both ways.

It’s not a lack of trust

We didn’t install this tracking app on their phones as punishment or because of a lack of trust; we share our locations for safety and convenience. The benefits of using this app outweigh the drawbacks as we use it to strengthen the strong foundation of open communication in our family. We never wanted our kids to feel like they had to lie about where they were, even if it was a house party we didn’t want to attend. We’d at least like to know their location in case of an emergency, and our kids are happy to have that safety net, too.

The independence I developed at age 16 didn’t come from not being watched by a tracking app. It was because I believed in myself and my strong relationship with my mother, that’s why I am wanted be honest with her. While it’s nature for teenagers to test boundaries, I want my kids to be mature and respectful enough to actually open up where they want to go and trust us with the details of their lives. Their most important relationships in life will require honest communication, so why not lay the groundwork and set that standard now?

We talked about following them when they turned 18

We discussed the possibility of swapping our places indefinitely, even when my firstborn turns 18 and goes to college. She mentioned that she was comforted by the fact that someone would always know where she was in the world.

When I was leaving home as a teenager, sometimes my mother would wave at me from the end of the driveway until she could no longer see my car. I watched as it dwindled into the distance behind me before disappearing completely from my rearview mirror as I turned the corner.

Hopefully, once my kids are grown and out of my sight, they’ll want to continue sharing their lifelong journeys with me, whether through a tracking app or whatever works best for them. It will be an honor for me and I will gladly go on the trip.

Read the original article at Business Insider