Security risks, pros and cons, and expert advice from Dr. Harvey Karp

Welcome to Ask Dr. Harvey Karp, our parenting advice columnwhere is the author Happiest kid on the block and the creator of SNOO answers your burning questions about raising children. Have a request? Write to us in the comments!

It is clear: there are young parents got tired. Their level of exhaustion even became a running joke thousands of Instagram memes and situational gags, such as dads brushing their teeth with sunscreen, pouring orange juice into their coffee, or dozing off at a red light.

But serious sleep deprivation is no joke. This can lead to terrible mistakes, such as forgetting a child in the back seat of the car or forgetting to turn off the stove. Deep fatigue is the main problem that young parents face every day. This can lead to irritability, depression, obsessive thoughts, and more.

Desperate for sleep, parents often resort to risky decisions that increase the chances of sudden unexpected infant death (SUID), such as bed-sharing, stomach sleeping, and the use of soft toys or bulky bedding in the child’s sleeping area. Despite decades of public health campaigns promoting the alphabet of safe sleep (ANDsingle, on Back, in a Crib), the rate of these tragedies has been stuck at 3,400 deaths per year without improvement for over 25 years!

While parent education efforts have resulted in fewer babies being placed on their stomachs at bedtime, another risk, bed sharing, has increased by 200-300% in recent years. One study found that 30% of breastfeeding moms start out co-sleeping, but by morning 60% of their babies are in their beds.

This brings us to the question: does Does co-sleeping promote intimacy or can it be dangerous?

Most babies who share a bed are fine, but unfortunately thousands are not. So what can parents do to eliminate the risks of bed sharing? Of course, you can avoid pillows and bulky bedding that can cause suffocation, no smoking, no people to stay in bed, avoid overheating, and never share a bed if you are drunk or under the influence of alcohol. But things can still go wrong, even after the risks have been eliminated.

New Zealand scientists conducted a study video recording of 80 babies, half in cradles and half in a shared bed. They found that for almost one hour a night, the faces of babies lying in bed were covered with a blanket (usually over the eyes). Co-bed babies also spent 5.7 hours a night lying on their sides rather than their backs.

Even if you strip your bed down to the bare minimum, there’s still another risk that’s almost impossible to eliminate – your exhaustion. Exhaustion causes a very similar brain disorder than intoxication! Research by the author National Road Safety Commission found that getting less than 6 hours of sleep — just one night — doubled the risk of having a serious car accident the next day. And sleeping less than 4 hours increases the risk 11 times! Imagine how many “sleepy-drunk” parents drive to work every day and make risky decisions without even realizing it.

When you’re sleep-deprived, you might just toss and turn a little, and that’s when accidents can happen. A pediatrician recently told me that he and his wife fell asleep in bed with their baby, only to wake up when their daughter started screaming. She rolled off the bed and ended up with a fractured skull.

Parents take such risks out of desperation, not carelessness. Sleep deprivation is used by the military to train our special forces to withstand torture. Moms and dads are exhausted, and single parents and parents of multiples are especially vulnerable. All parents deserve the support of family and friends so they can avoid making bad decisions due to deep fatigue, but few have that support anymore.

So what can you do to get enough sleep? and protect your child? Here are some tips:

• Keep your child close, but in their own safe place. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends rooming in for at least the first six months, and having your baby’s bassinet nearby will make it much easier to tuck him back in after feedings. You’ll both sleep better knowing they’re in a safe place.
• Split the night load. If you are a partner, come up with a plan to distribute ZZZ. This may mean alternating nights where one parent is ‘on’ and the other is ‘off’. Or it can be a division of the night into shifts (one parent takes turns when the child first wakes up, the other takes turns the rest of the night). Or if mom exclusively breastfeeds, dad can burp and change diapers. , and make the child sleep. Additionally, a family member who can stay overnight, a doula, or a night nurse can be extremely helpful.
• Improve your child’s sleep. AND recent medical research concluded that to reduce SUID, we need to teach parents ways to improve their children’s sleep. The best way to increase your ZZZs is with sound, movement, and tight swaddling. But you have to do it safely. For example, white noise should be below 65-70 dB (measured near the child’s head); the baby’s movement is safe only on a flat surface; and swaddling should be done correctly (not overheated, not tight around the hips, and stopped when the baby can roll over. Sleeping on the stomach while swaddling increases the baby’s risk of SUID).
• Consider SNOO. One way to improve the sleep of babies is to use SNOO. It safely soothes babies with gentle womb-like movements, comfortable swaddling and soothing white noise. Research shows that SNOO babies quickly gain an extra hour of sleep each night. At 2 to 3 months of age, SNOO babies average 6.5 to 7 hours of uninterrupted uninterrupted sleep/night, and by 6 months, most can transition smoothly to a crib. Additionally, the SNOO is the only FDA De Novo approved baby bed that safely holds back-sleeping babies through the night.

While the temptation to co-sleep is understandable, parents should not choose between their child’s safety and their own need for sleep. With the right support, we can prevent the burnout that drives good parents to make risky decisions.