How to talk to teenagers about eating disorders

Disordered eating isn’t always easy to spot, but it affects about 30 percent of teenage girls, 15 percent of teenage boys, and many transgender people.

So what are the warning signs that a young person has an unhealthy relationship with food?

Parents should be on the lookout not only for what a teenager eats or doesn’t eat, but also for any rigid rules about eating or irritability at mealtimes, said clinical psychologist Catherine Gallagher.

“Have they become picky or restrict the type of food they eat? Do they cut the food into tiny pieces? Is the food weighed? Do they often say that they have already eaten? Do they skip meals? Do they disappear after meals and spend time in the bathroom doing exercise?”

If you’re concerned about how your teen is eating, the first port of call is a general practitioner, where they’ll first be weighed and checked for any other physical ailments that may be going on, Gallagher said.

“Just get a baseline, go in there and make sure the GP was part of the team.

“Your young person may fight you about it because their brain and body are saying, ‘Look, I look perfectly fine, and actually gaining weight has become dangerous for me, and staying thin has become my safe place.’

Disordered eating often begins when weight loss is met with positive comments, Gallagher said, especially if the teen is a bit vulnerable, anxious or a perfectionist.

“(They might think) that the rest of my life seems chaotic and out of control, but that’s something I can excel at—controlling my food or controlling how my body looks.” Thanks to this, negative feelings are reduced. .”

If your teen is overweight, see if he seems cheerful and outgoing, and emphasize the benefits of a healthy lifestyle.

“(For example) It is extremely important to get sunlight, socialize, rest, relax, exercise and eat what nourishes your body.

“Use this approach to the ‘dilemma’: ‘Look, I don’t mean to offend. I’m probably going to say it the wrong way, you’re probably going to get really annoyed with me, but I’m just a little worried. ‘”

Ask them about their relationship with food and use the data.

“Dive in there and say, ‘Hey, are you struggling with this? … I heard you say it, or I saw you do it. I’m really sorry you feel this way. It’s really hard that you feel this way.”

“It’s not a big stick to beat parents over the head with, but if you’re concerned about the behavior of young people, it’s really important to look at your own beliefs.

“Are you commenting on people’s weight or how good people look when they’ve lost a little weight? Are you obsessed with it? Do I bake and cook a lot but don’t actually eat, or do I have trouble deciding what to eat or portion sizes?”

“If you do say the wrong thing and approve of someone’s weight loss, catch yourself and use it as an opportunity.

“You can just say, ‘Wow, did you notice I just caught myself doing that?’ We all fall into this trap.

“Then go back to them and say, ‘Hey, I noticed I said that. I grew up in the same environment as you, so I can be influenced by these things as well.”

Gallagher now sees that in the past her own fears affected her communication as a parent.

“If we do not monitor our own concern, how can we not preach? We must tame our own anxiety in order to be able to have these conversations more calmly.

“We’re not going to do it right, we’re going to wrestle with it, but those conversations are a lot easier when we have a relatively good relationship.

“If the only conversations we’re having are serious ones, they’re not going to talk to us, and we’re probably very nervous talking to them.”