Miss Manners: When my drunk friend “reminds” me of my disability, it doesn’t look good

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I know an older couple, and the woman often “reminds” me that I am disabled. I think she’s just reminding herself of my status to sort out her acquaintances, but it’s unkind.

She will insinuate that I spend most of my time napping during the day (which I do when I have a migraine). I already feel very guilty staying at home on disability while my husband works full time.

Also, there is over a 50% chance that she gets buzzed every time she talks to me. Her alcoholism makes her forgetful, but she seems stuck in a pattern of publicly counting my losses, and I don’t want to spend time with her.

I told her that real friends don’t talk about our worries and illnesses. Should I just tell her not to call me when she was drinking that day?

READER: Or never, Miss Manners would think.

Those odds over 50% are not in your favor, and you don’t have to put up with a friend who insults you. You don’t have to take her calls. If she asks, you can explain that your schedule has changed and you’re not usually available.

Please send your questions to Ms. Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or by mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.